Silent retreat or 5-day intensive rehab? That was the question.
I was ready for a sabbatical. But, I wasn’t sure which path was the right one for me at this moment. I had begun to struggle with years-long eating disorders again, and I needed to pause, take a breath – and rest.
As it turned out, the Shades of Hope rehab didn’t have any available spots, so – off to the silent retreat it would be!
Cue the anxiety. I had never been to a silent retreat, so I had many questions. When did we have to stop talking? Could we write and take notes? Could I check my phone? Would I make it the entire weekend without talking?
If you know me at all, you know I LOVE to talk. I am the definition of an extrovert, and I absolutely love people. So the thought of a weekend-long silent retreat created anxious thoughts to begin swirling. I even had to start taking anxiety medication.
As the Friday of the retreat drew near, I began praying and specifically asking for healing. Let me tell you … God certainly answered my requests for healing that weekend.
So, I’d like to share the 7 lessons learned from my time at the silent retreat. We’re going to focus on one at a time!
The first lesson I learned was silence and sound.
After dinner on Friday night, we began our silence.
My phone was on airplane mode and only checked twice each day. There was such a beautiful freedom in that.
Once I settled into the silence, I was able to hear the sounds. I heard the sounds of the birds. And the ducks, and the water – I could hear it all. I had a front-row seat to all the noisy bugs on Lake Louisville.
The sounds and the noise in my head also began to quiet down. You know those voices, the constant chatter that tells us those yucky things about ourselves. Those noises quieted, and I could truly hear from God. I heard from my Father about His deep love for me.
It helped me walk through to the other side of healing grace, to hear that I’m not a pauper. I am a Daughter of the King. I am completely gifted. I am honored to have this life, the life I have; this real life, not just the life at a silent retreat. And so the silence and the sounds began to feel very warm and welcoming to me.
Lesson #1 was beautiful and irreplaceable. Silence and sound. When you allow yourself to finally get silent, you can begin to hear the sounds.