Today is my 10-year sobriety anniversary. I am in awe. So grateful. I stumbled into the rooms of recovery thinking my life was over, and it was only just starting a beautiful new chapter. A huge God miracle decade of life without booze clouding me over.
In honor of this magnificent life-defining day, I decided to write up 10 lessons I have learned and pair each of them with a slogan that I love and share a story for each. So here we go…
Slogan #1: More will be revealed
This one has helped me to let go. For years, I had this one on my fridge written on an index card. More will be revealed in my business, my boundary setting, my marriage, my needs. I got sober when I was 40. I am now 50. Much more has been revealed during this decade of my aging, and I will only learn by taking the next right step. I can’t learn if I am NOT “allowing,” experimenting, giving it a go, so to speak. The teacher appears when the student is ready… and the next step appears when I boldly take a new step.
Slogan #2: One day at a time
I also use the phrase, One Brave At a Time, with my clients. I can do anything for one day. I have done Whole30 for 30 days. I did #75hard for 75 days. I have stayed sober for 3,650 days. So, when I think something is way too hard, scary, or out of my reach, I practice this method. Just for today, Diane. It is how I have built a business that has brought in over a million dollars… one client at a time.
Slogan #3: Trust the process
It is about trust. Trusting my journey, my experience, the wisdom of my sponsor, the strength of the group. About letting go of the “need to know,” perfectionism, overthinking, and my favorites: fixing, helping, and rescuing. I have to trust YOUR process, too, and let you do your own thing. Stay in my hula hoop, and keep on hooping!
Slogan #4: Be where your feet are
This reminds me that my job is to be in the moment. Not overthinking next week. Not obsessing about the event at Christmas or next Tuesday. In the rooms, we call it “future tripping” or “morbid reflection” when we are knee-deep in thinking about yesterday and the past. It has served me well to STAY IN TODAY, as often as I can. God takes care of today, tomorrow, and next Tuesday. Mostly, I just need to get OUT OF HIS WAY!
Slogan #5: HOW: Honest. Open. Willing.
The HOW of it all is this: Be honest. Be Open. Be willing. It takes practice to get really honest. To ask for what I need, big things and little things. It could be getting honest enough to sell my association, like I did in 2017, or honest enough to ask for more guacamole for my fajitas. Then I have to be OPEN to what comes next. That’s my job. To then be WILLING. We are taught in the 12-step fellowships that if we are NOT YET willing to pray for the willingness to be willing. I have done that more times than I can count in 10 years. Maybe I need to be willing to let go of my old scarcity thinking, or the way I used to do things, or the way I avoid when a conflict happens. Or maybe it is just as simple as guacamole…. depends on the day. LOL
Slogan #6 Don’t leave before the miracle
I love this one. Now, I don’t give up easy. I drank daily for 14 years before I got sober. YES, not lying. I believe in miracles. The first time I went to an AA meeting, I saw a room full of miracles. People laughing. People happy. I experienced what we call THE PINK CLOUD of happiness very soon after I got sober. I was just so much better, less foggy, less shame, fewer unexplained bruises from the night before when falling down or bumping into things in my house.
Slogan #7: EGO: Edging God Out
I don’t want to be in my EGO. I don’t want to Edge God Out of my life. From my business. From my dreams. From my day. It is easy for me to do… think I am the BOSS of everything… haha. Nope. I have the honor of working for God on a daily basis. I don’t want to edge Him out.
Slogan #8: Act as If
I am an ACTIVATOR. It is my highest gift on my Strengths Finder. So this one speaks to me. I remember the first time I painted. The next day, I walked out of the house and felt different. I said, “I am an artist.” I did the same thing when I became the Founder and President of the National Association of Christian Women Entrepreneurs. And then I did it when I got sober… Act as if you are a healthy fit sober woman. Then I asked myself, “What would she do?” Then I did that. So, act your way into new behaviors. It works.
Slogan #9: It Works If You Work It
This is another one that I use with my coaching clients ALL OF THE TIME. Are you doing the work? Recovery for 120 months has taken time. That is 87,600 hours of practice. Of meetings, calling my sponsor, helping another woman work through the steps, leading at our yearly AA Women’s Retreat, making the coffee before a meeting. It works when I do the “foot work.” It is a muscle, a habit. A choice to take action to get to my dream or whatever God has of me instead. I do my part. Then, I let God take care of the details (or I hire help with the details for my business) so that I can stay focused on my main things.
Slogan #10: Keep coming back
This one is a favorite. We say it at the end of each meeting. We mean it. Keep coming back when it’s hard. Keep coming back when we all annoy you. Keep coming back when you think you might NOT really have a problem. Keep coming back through the rain, the ice storms (not kidding), the boredom, the tears, the bliss. Just keep coming back. I am so grateful that I have kept coming back. My first 12-step meeting was in 1990 for my eating disorder. It took me a long long time to get to AA, but I have been to other programs that helped me: Overeaters Anonymous, Debtors Anonymous, Al-Anon, and more. Keep coming back.
During the past decade, I have walked through these milestones and moments:
- Moving to Dallas on March 1, 2013, right before I hit rock bottom. Got Sober in June. Wasn’t expecting that.
- Dating. A lot. Don’t ask.
- Getting remarried in July of 2017 to my wonderful husband that I met on those horrible dating apps…. Haha. I didn’t give up!!
- Hosting conferences, women’s retreats, masterminds, workshops and VIP days
- Coaching hundreds of women to build their business with more brave boldness
- Selling NACWE in 2017
- The COVID years
- My Dad having a 14-pound tumor removed in the April of when Covid hit (remember what it was like then…..)
- A back injury
- A car accident, getting hit by a semi in May of this year
- Becoming a Grandma
I have done all of the normal things too like New Year’s Eve, a holiday party, Mexican food, Friday or any day that ends in Y, without booze. LOL
It has gotten easier and easier. I honestly rarely think about a drink. More often, I am tempted to try to people please, eat too much, not eat enough, buy random things on Amazon, be a workaholic, or any other thing.
I am unendingly grateful to my recovery friends, my husband, my family. God is my provider. Here’s to the next decade… don’t leave before the miracle.
Love, Diane