Dear Younger Me,
Dear beautiful girl getting off the bus from kindergarten in your navy blue outfit with a cute white shirt with red polka dots. I just adore you. You are so happy and eager and full of life. You are so excited to share with Mom and Dad about what happened today. You have your little sweater on your arm and your lunch pail. You have white socks on in the photo. You have flowing bouncy hair that glimmers in the sun. You are carrying a large construction paper STOP sign that you made that day to bring home. It is just the beginning of your many pieces of ART to show the world but it will take you a long time to find that part of yourself.
Dear younger me dancing through the swimming pool at Medford Leas in New Jersey. Look at your freedom. Look at your joy. Your strength and love. You have not been tainted by the worlds messages that you are “too big” or “too much” or “not enough”. You have not embraced the catch-all label FAT for any horrible thing about yourself or any feeling you don’t know how to deal with. “I feel fat” is not in your language in this snapshot. All this photo screams to me is FREEDOM.
I love you little Diane. I love your emotions, your mind, your body. I love your essence.
I love the way you are frolicking in this photo.
As a 46-year-old woman, I have these 2 photos next to my desk. I see you daily. I embrace you as I go about my work.
What you don’t know yet is that I work with women. Right now it is a program called Brave Creations. It is an inner circle. It is amazing. 14 women of all ages, sizes, locations. Different backgrounds and skills. I am working with them on business and life and habits.
Dear Younger Me,
here is what I would want to tell you~~
You are magical.
You are worthy and beautiful and smarter than you will ever comprehend.
You are willing to fight for.
You can say NO whenever you want and as often as you need to.
You don’t have to understand WHY something doesn’t feel right or make excuses.
You don’t have to prove yourself to anyone, especially any man.
You are going to look for love in all of the wrong places because you are starving for it at home and not getting it.
You will survive all of the things that you walk through and learn to use them to help others.
You will be mad at your body for years and treat it horribly with diets and pills, starving and binging. You will weigh 203 lbs and you will weigh 122. Most of the time you will be in the 160s and 170s. You will fight this battle daily with all of the knowledge you have and then you will surrender and get help. This will lead you to a new freedom and a new happiness of food and body recovery. A one day at a time process.
You will get addicted to alcohol and end up drinking every day for 14 years. This will lead you to a rock bottom moment in June of 2013 and then you will seek help and be sober. The steps will set you free. They will then help you with debt and people pleasing and the food and dieting situation. But most of all you will find a tribe of people who adore you just as you are, in your giant mess. They will love you and teach you and be the family you see on a daily basis.
Dear little Diane,
I just want you to know that you are totally OK, today, yesterday and tomorrow.
You are just right.
You are my truth and where I started and I will not abandon you ever again. I love you.
Remember what we are practicing this year….
- Be real
- Ask for help
- Take action
All of this will be your legacy, and you don’t know this, but you will lead large magnitudes of women with the books you write, speaking you do, and groups you gather. But most of all… you will change the world by loving yourself fiercely and in public. You will inspire other women to find their own BRAVE.
You will invite them to come on adventures with you. And they will rise up and join you to frolic and learn! Just like at the swimming pool and coming off the bus.
I love you~~
D